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Daily Poll/Archive/June 2008
June 30, 2008 *Points: Stephen Colbert's Facebook Friend, Rupert Murdoch's space Presents Stephen Colbert *Truths: Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Sweetness, Laura Krafft, writers, heroes Who will you miss most on The Colbert Report's 2 week vacation to free DC of liberal scum on the 4th of July? Stephen Colbert. Laura Krafft, who received her "fond farewell" ;) as a writer. The heroes who sacrificed their couch & TV to be in the audience. Stephen's gun Sweetness. June 29, 2008 *Points: President Refuses to Open EPA email *Truths: environment, Global Warming, The Greatest President Ever, EPA Why does the EPA hate America? Because it's appointed by the White House. 'cuz terrorists are hiding in trees. 'cuz it has so much offshore oil it will only take 10-20 years to find it. 'cuz VP Cheney files their emails with the "to-be-destroyed" backups. June 26, 2008 *Points: Supreme Court Declares Gun Ban Illegal *Truths: guns, The Supreme Court, The Greatest Vice President EVER!, Hillary, Barack Hussein Obama What is the greatest gift the Supreme Court has given us by keeping guns legal in Washington DC? Neighborhood gun & ammo stores can stay in business. Dick Cheney can continue to hunt in the Senate. Hillary can continue to play Russian roulette. The assassination option is still on the table if Obama becomes President. June 25, 2008 *Points: Home Sales Near Historic Lows, Liberal Buzz Words, War Contracting Stock Losses *Truths: economy, economics, The Liberal Media, oil, gas, Hummer, No-bid Contract, Privatize, gated community How can we tell the Liberal Media has lied to us about the economy? They never advertise Hummers. They haven't reported about the bike-riding crisis. They haven't reported on the best war contractor stocks to buy. They haven't reported about gated community property values approaching record lows. June 24, 2008 *Points: Record Dry Conditions, Lightning Records *Truths: global cooling, global warming, California, Hollywood, sodomites, homosexuals, marriage What has caused record setting dry weather and unprecedented lightning strikes in California? Global warming. Climate change. Oil spills from spill-proof tankers. California's legalization of gay marriage. June 23, 2008 *Points: More Terrorist Attacks Would Help, Terrorists are Big Advantage *Truths: John W. McCain, The Greatest President EVER!, The Greatest Vice President EVER!, Executive Privilege, President, 2008, Barack Hussein Obama, terrorists, Muslim What would help McCain & Republicans most in the 2008 election? A Muslim woman giving oral to Obama. Bush & Cheney running for a third term. Bush & Cheney declaring voting is an executive privilege. Another terrorist attack. June 21, 2008 *Points: McClellan's Oath Clips on Karl Rove *Truths: Scott McClellan, Karl Rove, books, WMDs What lies did Scott McClellan tell about Karl Rove and the Bush-Cheney White House under oath before Congress yesterday? "Not in those words." It was a marketing campaign. The White House has never gone out of campaign mode. Mr. Rove can not be trusted to tell the truth. June 20, 2008 *Points: McClellan Testifying About Bush *Truths: Scott McClellan, The Greatest President EVER!, liberals, truthinesss, impeachment What was the biggest lie Scott McClellan told testifying before Congress today? He did not have sexual relations with a liberal. He loves and does not hate America. The Greatest President EVER is responsible for creating mistrust. America is better off knowing the truth instead of the truthiness. June 18, 2008 *Points: Bush Begs Congress for Offshore Oil Spills, Record Flooding Continues, includes Mississippi *Truths: Halliburton, oil, gas, Dick Cheney, Greatest President Ever, global warming What's the greatest part of supporting Bush's plan to end the ban on offshore oil drilling? It distracts voters from flooding rivers possibly, maybe caused by melting glaciers caused by the "theory" of global warming. It will increase Halliburton's oil drilling profits. Terrorists can be blamed for spills. If synergizes Cheney's energy strategy. The next great Republican President, John W. McCain, supports it. June 15, 2008 - Papa's Day *Points: Wikipedia's failure to record Stephen as a National Treasure, Colbert Painting National Treasure, Olbermann Beats O'Reilly Factor *Truths: Papa Bear, Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, papa, dad, father, Americone Dream What should Stephen get Papa Bear Bill O'Reilly for Father's Day? Keith Olbermann's time slot on MSNBC. An interview with Ben & Jerry so he can apply for an ice cream flavor. An autographed photo of Stephen holding his Peabody award. An autographed photo of Stephen Colbert in front of his National Treasure painting at the Smithsonian. June 11, 2008 *Points: $85 Million for Katrina Victims Given Away, McCain Falls Asleep Discussing Troop Withdrawal *Truths: Barack Hussein Obama, Reverend Wright, Jimmy Carter, John W. McCain, Hurricane Katrina What is Obama's biggest strength? He didn't have FEMA lock away $85 million in household goods for Katrina victims for 2 years. McCain has decided that troop withdrawal from Reverend Wright's church is more important. He's not Jimmy Carter. He's not a secret negro. June 10, 2008 *Points: Secret Negro President *Truths: Flag, Confederate, South, Homeland Security, negro, The McLaughlin Group If you can't beat them: Secede. Give them a confederate flag. Spread rumors with John McClaughlin that they are secret negros. Report them to Homeland Security. June 4, 2008 *Points: McClellan Book Interview, McClellan's 2007 Daily Show Interview *Truths: John Stewart, The Daily Show, FOX News, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Scott McClellan, The Greatest President EVER! Why can't liberals understand that just because "Culture of Deception" is in a book title, it doesn't mean lies? 'cuz the Daily Show hates America. 'cuz they decidered before Karl Rove reportered on FOX. 'cuz they can't understand McClellan's soul has been abducted by Satan. 'cuz they handle riding bareback with a cowboy hat like Dick Cheney. 'cuz they've never rocked on a porch with the Greatest President Ever. June 3, 2008 *Points: Obama Accepts Victory, Clinton Stays the Course, Superdelegates Embrace Obama *Truths: Barack Hussein Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Greatest Nation, Scott McClellan, Democrats, superdelegates Who actually won the Democratic nomination for President of the Greatest Nation tonight? Obama. Clinton. Scott McClellan. Stephen Colbert. June 2, 2008 *Points: A Brief History of Gas in America *Truths: gas, America, taxes, Hummers Will Democrats complain about one-day promotional sales of half-price gasoline? Yes, they hate America. No, they'll raise the gas tax instead.